Mark Twain feels that,
"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
Wikipedia defines forgiveness as the intentional and voluntary process
by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding
an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as revenge, with an
increased ability to wish the offender well.
But this was how I learnt and nurtured the art of forgiveness.
It was a fine day and I was busy with all the chores. I had kept myself
busy for the entire time to avoid fights and misunderstanding. All my
efforts had gone in vain. I was hurt and disappointed with what few
people had done to me. I made myself busier, not understanding what to
do. My near ones urged me to let go of the past and stop fighting with
Unlike my daily routine, I was walking to the nearby park and saw the
church that stood there since my childhood days, I walked into it for
the first time in years. I loved the silence,serenity and the peace that
it gave back. I just sat there for hours, I never realized how many.
Recalling everything that had happened in the past few days. For first
time in months I cried, tears flowing down my cheeks,releasing all the
anger I had filled within me. That is when i had the idea of confession,
without a second thought I approached the priest,within few minutes I
told my heart out and felt much better than before, for the priest just
told me,"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and
slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to
one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." I
thanked him and moved on, that was the first word of gratitude that I
had uttered in months. I felt better but yet went back home, following
I had loads of files stacked of the case studies for women security
project I was working on, when I reached home. A particular file caught
my attention, it was named,"Green River Killer". The killer had murdered
60 women and was being convicted. He showed no remorse when the
families of the victims lashed out at him for the unimaginable grief he
had put them through. When the time came for Robert Rule, the father of
teenage victim Linda Jane Rule, to speak, the killer finally showed a
glimpse of remorse. The father,"You are forgiven sir."
I just gazed at the files for few fleeting seconds shocked by the
father's will to just forgive the murderer. As if I were possessed I
went out to the nearby cafe and ordered a cappuccino, taking in the
smell of fresh coffee being grounded and bread being baked with no one
to interrupt my flow of thoughts,I sat motionlessly . As I sipped my
coffee hot, I realized that forgiving does not erase the bitter past
and a healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead by forgiving we
change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.When Robert
Rule can forgive why not I give it a try?
I learnt the hard way that forgiveness is the economy of the heart.
Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred and the
waste of spirits.
For those who have caused me pain, I forgive you!
Learning from others experience is to be wise.
Do remember my advise.
To forgive and forget.
Is the best way not to fret.